Directed by Brett Ratner
by Jake Jacobson
I wish I didn't need to review X3, and that I could go my life without committing my thoughts on this movie to paper. Sadly, we need more movie reviews here at Space-Gun, and it comes to me to bear the burden of it. I think that with the addition of X3 there has come a near perfect analogue to the Star Wars Trilogy (the original Trilogy, the holy Trilogy). X3 is…well, it's a lot like Return of the Jedi. Like Return of the Jedi, the final, climactic battle is just about the coolest thing is the movie. There's explosions, unusual pyrotechnics, the works. Also like Jedi, there are Ewoks. No I don't literally mean there are short fuzzy bear people (though Beast's costume is kinda in that realm). I mean there are moments when, whilst watching the movie I sat back and said "Come on guys, why'd it have to be THAT?" For the record, I have no issues with the plot of the film. Well, almost no issues. My aim is to say that it doesn't particularly bother me that a good half the cast is powerless or dead by the end of the film. I think those elements were indicative of a bold idea.
The problem inherent with this movie was that the writers and the director seemed to think being bold (or, in most cases, simply flashy) was more than enough to carry the film. To be blunt, Marvel, Singer and Raimi set the bar too high with their previous forays to allow any future comic movie to skate by on boldness and flash alone. Particularly in the second installment of X-Men, Singer had a clear and driving goal to humanize and characterize everyone he had on screen. Ok, he might have been a little lax on Storm, but he gave her the opportunity and I think Halle Berry is to blame for the results. My point is, there were seeds of character laid in X-Men, and they grew and blossomed, for the most part, in X2. X3tries desperately to have those moments, there are clear indicators for them in the script, but what Singer does with a long take of Iceman's face while Rogue undresses a few feet from him, Ratner sort of forgets about in his enthusiasm to get to that final, awesome climax. The short version is this, X3 simply forgets to give us the character moments we'd gotten so used to with Singer, and instead either replaces them with cheesy dialogue (and I mean CHEESY, though I still have to love Juggernaut's main line) or explosions. That's primarily what's wong with the film in a nutshell.
Now, what's right about the film is another story. I think that what's right about the film isn't nearly so substantial on the whole, which is why a lot of people will walk out of X3 disappointed. The best thing about this last X-Men movie (and I do hope it's the last) is the Phoenix. Damn, Famke nailed it. And if her nailing it wasn't enough, the CG department made her look so scary she might not have needed to nail it. The whole movie she has this predatory, wild eyed intensity to her even though her lines are minimal. I'm not sure how much of that is the director, how much is the actor, and how much is just happy accident of fate, but if there was one thing I truly thought whooped ass in the film it was Phoenix. Also good in the film (though not nearly as good as it should have been, considering the lack of characterization) was the addition of 3 of my favorite mutants to make up for the loss of my all time winner: Nightcrawler. I think Nightcrawler deserves that kind of ratio in his coolness. Angel, Shadowcat, and Beast to equal one Nightcrawler, seems about right to me. Now, sadly none of these characters get enough screen time, and in fact I'm positive Angel was literally forgotten for a good 2/3 of the film, but having them in there does soften some of my other complaints. Also softening them is the fact that I honestly don't believe this movie could have been much better. If you don't know of the directorial woes you should look them up, as they are truly heartbreaking, but suffice to say Ratner was not the first, or second choice for this film, and for third tier he did about as well as one could hope for.
So the big finale I think breaks down like so: neat action scenes, lots of ass-kicking, virtually no substantial character moments (excepting Phoenix, Prof X and Magneto, who steal every scene they're in) and a lackluster directing style. It's not a BAD movie, but it's also not the groin stomping good time the last two X-Films were. Well, that's all I have to say. Go check out X3: Return of the Jedi when you get the chance, but don't expect too much, it just can't handle it.
